universally horrifying

I have a confession to make.

I don't like horror films. And it's not simply because they frighten me. Although they do. It's more than that. I find them frequently disturbing and often disgusting. In fact, when a horror film preview appears on television, I close my eyes.

But perhaps I should clarify. The horror films I dislike are recent horror films. And by "recent" I mean produced within the last 40 to 50 years. During that time, horror seems to have become synonymous with excessive blood, gore, and violence. And frightening realism. I especially dislike realism in film. Severed limbs, rolling heads, oozing entrails, graphic apparitions, power tools tearing through flesh. Far too realistic for me. I approach these films with one basic rule: if it threatens to come between me and a good night's sleep, I don't want to see it.

But horror films made before the 1960's are . . . well . . . a different genre entirely. These films are my kind of horror. Creepy and atmospheric . . . but not realistically so. Mad scientists, monsters, ancient curses, haunted houses . . . but nothing genuinely disturbing. And most importantly, nothing that will keep me awake at night.

The classic Universal horror films are my personal favourites, but until recently, I had seen only a few of them. Then, two Octobers ago, I stumbled upon the Universal Legacy Collections of The Wolf Man and The Mummy. Not just each original film. No, these collections also contained the inevitable sequels and spin-offs produced when a studio realizes there's more money to be made. And they included commentaries, interviews, documentaries . . . a dream come true for a "special features" addict like myself.

Enjoying my first two purchases, I became determined to track down the remaining two (now four) sets. I am a patient person. Realizing they would be most accessible at my local DVD retailers during the Halloween season, I waited. And last fall, my patience was rewarded. I found the Frankenstein collection. But apparently, that was the only set available. I continued my search. Nothing. No store within a 20km radius of my home seemed to carry The Invisible Man, Creature from the Black Lagoon or, surprisingly, Dracula. Not at Halloween. Not even during the holiday shopping season. Frustrating.

I try to adhere to a personal rule about on-line shopping: I rely on it only if I cannot find what I'm looking for at a local business. But I can wait and search no longer. So today, I logged into my Chapters account and ordered the three remaining sets that will complete my collection. Ordinarily, I would have waited until fall and savoured them as part of my pre-Halloween viewing. But it's cold and snowy outside and I've got time on my hands and a shiny new DVD player and Chapters promises to deliver them to me within a week or two, so why not?

And now I wait. I wait for Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Invisible Man and Dracula to arrive in my mailbox. And although I needed it to complete the set, I will admit to some hestitation over ordering the Dracula collection. Vampires scare me . . . even in black and white.