I feel shmucky...long and ranty

So, there are people I wanted to invite to my wedding. But I work with them or haven't really seen them since high school, and I thought to myself (when it came time to get addresses), 'I can't do this - they are going to be too nice to say 'no,' but not really want to come, and I'm going mess with either their Halloween or their Ga/Fla game day or their Atlanta Pride festivities..."

And I did what any logical, neurotic person would do: I chickened out of asking MOST of them for their addresses. If it involved walking further than the cube next to me, I got way too nervous and just decided not to.

Never did it cross my mind that people might actually like me enough to want to go to my wedding -- the opposite, in fact: I assumed they would only come out of obligation if they even entertained the idea.

Well, I've had at least TWO encounters now where people were all, 'hey, what's going on with your wedding?' very politely and non-pushy but genuinely interested, and I feel like a heel because they were amongst the first names I wrote down on my invite list and really wanted there.

They are still there, highlighted in yellow to denote that we're missing their address.

One of these friends, whose desk I was actually at to ask for his address about a month ago when I heard him talking about thinking he'd go to this monster Halloween party (that, frankly, I myself am sorry to be missing), last night was all, 'hey - for your wedding, I might get you a Joshua Hoffine print."

Oh my goodness the agony of it in my brain: people I genuinely want at my wedding because I adore them, that I decided not to send invite because we don't chill outside of work on a regular basis and I was worried that it might seem like I was - I don't know - pushing for presents or something, and now I feel even worse because I AM A COMPLETE NINNY and they are so fantastic and thoughtful in every conceivable way, and I'm just not.



*sigh*

I thought I'd feel like a jerk for imposing on them and asking them to take their Halloween day/night to drive a hellalong way down to Nowheresville to see me embarrass myself in a big, beautiful, Victorian-style dress, but it turns out I feel more like a jerk for not being brave enough to trust them to decide for themselves.

*sigh*

Someone tell me that I'm just hormonal and stressed out and need to stop panicking because these people probably don't hate me, even if they mistakenly think they were left off to begin with. Please. I'm feeling like a total and complete ass.