on the small screen

It was with tremendous disappointment that I chose not to see The Wolfman when it arrived in theatres last winter. I had anticipated the release of this movie with some trepidation. Hopeful that it would remain true to the classic version, which I love, and not over-indulge in blood and gore, which I despise.

Alas, reviews and word-of-mouth convinced me that this was not a movie that I wanted to see on the big screen. At least not until I had had a chance to preview it on a much smaller screen. Where I could easily hide behind the nearest pillow. So I waited. And waited. And last week, I noticed that my wait was over. I rented a copy last night, popped some popcorn, gathered my oversize pillows around me, and settled in on the couch to form my own opinions.

And my opinions were not what I had expected them to be.

Much to my surprise, it was not as much of a gorefest as I had anticipated. I only had to hide behind my pillow four times. Maybe five. And it was not difficult to anticipate the occurrence of those scenes, which were, of course, designed for maximum blood-letting.

The remainder of the film, the non-bloody parts, began promisingly enough. I have an affinity for films set during the Victorian era, so the atmosphere immediately won me over. Unfortunately, the characterization did not. The new Larry Talbot seemed to lack the warmth and charm of Larry Talbot of old. I didn't particularly like the character and didn't much care what happened to him. He was . . . cold. In fact, all of the characters were cold. There wasn't a single one that I felt a modicum of sympathy for. Except perhaps, those who were already dead when the film began.

The film dragged along slowly. Much too slowly. I firmly believe that any feature film should be a full two hours long (otherwise, it's simply a glorified television episode) but as my eyelids grew heavy and I found myself reaching for the toothpicks, I considered revising this opinion. This film could have lost thirty minutes and not suffered. The version I watched was the director's cut, however. So perhaps the extra sixteen minutes included the monotonous bits.

In short, I'm glad I rented it. But I have no interest in ever seeing it again.

I miss Lon Chaney, Jr.