the horror of coleslaw

I was standing in line at the grocery store check-out and there it was. Perched between two similarly-sized booklets entitled Coca-Cola Recipes and Bacon Recipes. Its orange cover shining like a beacon. This recipe booklet is always among the first to appear on the shelves each Halloween season. Probably for good reason. If it had to compete with other Halloween magazines, few copies would be sold. But release it first, and desperate Halloween-deprived individuals, like myself, will purchase it.

I can't help it. Yes, the recipes are mediocre. Yes, the ideas are time-worn. Yes, the magazine is a multi-page advertisement for Pillsbury frozen-dough products. But show me a glossy orange cover with pumpkins and ghosts at this time of year and I'm hooked.

And this year, the Halloween: Food, Fun and Crafts booklet really seems to have outdone itself.

With clever and inspiring recipes like this selection from their Wicked Entrees and Sides.

That's right. Coleslaw. Ordinary coleslaw. Well, except for the addition of sunflower seeds. Clearly, those are intended to be the "wicked" part. No other spooky modifications are necessary. Apparently coleslaw is horrifying enough on its own.

Yet not nearly as horrifying as a quesadilla.

Cut to resemble a "wagon wheel". With a sour cream hub and dabs of salsa and guacamole as the "spokes". It's Halloween on a plate. I may never again look upon a wagon wheel without a shiver of fear.

And then, just as I was about to ask for my money back, just as I had given up all hope, I turned a page and encountered these.

And my faith was restored.

Yolkensteins. These creatures are the embodiment of Halloween food. Simple, yet brilliant. I love these little guys. It's almost enough to make me regret disliking hard-boiled eggs. But I'm thinking they would be equally adorable with bocconcini. And much more delicious.

Yes . . . Bocconcini - ensteins.